Category: real life

DEFCON!!!

So the way I figure it, there are three types of people that come to my site. Lovers and Ex-Lovers, Friends, and Them. For those of you who don’t know, Them refers to that secret society of the illuminati that are desperately trying to ruin my life. I know what your thinking, your thinking “Paranoid Freak”, or “Complete, COMPLETE MORON”. But I tell you its true. Their out there. I see them peering into my windows when I am masterbating. Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that Them have some sort of sick twisted fantasy with me, neked, on the couch (that ya stick too when ya be’s neked on it) watching some young gob guzzulin mulitiple penetration hoe get it from 6 angles. Yes, I said six. I gots the good porn.

So, did ya get a mental image of me jerkin my shit? Did ya now that I told ya too? Told ya, you might as well call me daddy.

DefCon 12 starts TOMMORROW!!! Mat and I are headed down tonight, gonna get there as the sun rises and start the partin. And then around 2ish we pick up Davey McChode from the airport, and he starts the partin’ with us, around 3-3:30ish we get to check into the hotel…. prolly get a couple hrs of much needed sleep and then GEEK.

The amount of geekin’ will be gargantuan. Children will cry. Angels will fall. Devils will quit poking people. Strippers will loose MONEY!!! Chad will find his penis!!!!

Sometime Friday night Stan shows. This is when I am assuming the party should really get started. By then we should have the camcorder set up, the parabolic dish slowly mircowaving the neighbors and our own power circuit and OC-48 pulled into the hotel room.

I am guessing we’ll have about 10 computers. 1 camcorder. 3 digital cameras. 1 webcam (which i am going to try real hard to get setup asap). And four sexually frusterated broke guys in a hotel room. Admit it, your jealous.

Goals For DefCon:

– Come Home Alive

– Finish Slimserv.com

– Get something solid up for DeviantSociety

– Get Kelly’s PC working Correctly

– Win 37.5Million Dollars at the craps table (the .5 is for the rest of you, so that we dont have to listen to you whine)

– Leave Vegas without warrents

– Get my ass licked.

– Make it home with a $35 hooker tied in the trunk. (see, the trick on this one is actually getting home)

– Finish getting the server ready to take customers.

– Enjoy the fuck outta DefCon

I will try to throw up updates randomly throughout the week. Keep ya’ll updated. And then at the end of the week we will take a look at the goals and see what we did and did not accomplish.

Sickness el Reyna

Unfortunately with my new truck came a new problem.
We’ll call it the ‘Sickness el Reyna’.

See, I bought my new truck. And it has a few problems and a few things that I want to change. Let me list them here quickly.
– When parked and idle-ing, stinks o’ gas
– engine light comes one randomly
– doesn’t have a straight axle in the front
– semi bald tires in the back
– no spare, jack, little spare ‘dropper’ arm

And so far, with every spare second of time I have had, I have spent researching these issues online and figuring out how to fix them. Also, I’ve been looking at a lot of 4 wheel drive mods for my truck. Hell, I even have a small part of me that is thinking about swapping out the engine.
point o’ interest ‘sickness el reyna’ or http://www.wasatchoffroad.com
do you understand what I am getting at here?
let me put it this way………. I had about 5 hrs in the hotel last night, Jacuzzi tub, hbo, skin-i-max, showme time, and high speed internet…… and i didn’t find time to look at porn online. just Toyota parts.
I almost didn’t even get in the Jacuzzi tub….
someone help me please.. I’m sinking… sinking… sinking…

~/Moose\~

My New Truck Fucking Rocks!!!

So, I haven’t updated in nearly a week. Blow me. Been kinda a weird week.

Got my new truck. Pictures of it here.

I absolutely love it. Ask anyone who knows me real well. I have wanted this exact truck for like 7 or 8 years. I just could never afford one, or the time wasn’t right, or I was being ‘too cautious’. But now I have it, its gonna make it so I don’t have a dime for defcon. But I have it.

I should probably find the mutherfucker who broke into my Mazda…. and shake his mutherfuckin hand. Buy him a cigar or some such shit. Ass head forced me into getting the truck of my dreams. heh… figures.

So whats new with me… nothing really, I can’t modivate myself past working on my new truck. I have no idea what I am going to do with my old one. I don’t want to give it to the junker people, but I only have 30 days to get rid of it, or I have to insure it.

I suppose I could get ‘parking’ insurance on it until I decide what to do with it. Or find someone to buy it. I just hate sending a running truck to the junkyard.

Sopranos Update: No Sopranos this week, damnit. FUCKING HOLIDAY.

Gonna be in Nashville this coming week, and it sounds like Chicago the next. Need anything?

~/Moose\~

Some cowraping beefteeth muther fucker…

So, some assfucking turd burger tried to steal my fucking truck last night. No shit. Tore the fucking steering column apart. Fucked up the ignition. Cut a bunch of fucking wires. And managed to get the truck around the corner and into the middle of 8th south before the steering column locked up. He nearly hit a fucking car. Thank god he didn’t or i’d be fixing that as well.
So yeah, I called, to get the ignition, I am looking at $200 to the dealer, and $50 to have it shipped from Korea or some such shit. And then, sense he cut the wires, instead of unplugging them, there’s a possibility that he shorted the ignition ‘something or other’ out, and also that ‘thingymagig’ both which are

Dealer: Kinda expensive
Me: How expensive
Dealer: Like 4 high priced hookers and a pound of your finest white dust expensive
Me: I would rather spend it on that
Dealer: Me too.

So, I am buying a new truck. Should get a call from the bank sometime tonight on whether or not I got the loan. They said it looked positive. And I think I found a good truck. V6, Toyota 4 Runner, 89, 2″ Body Lift, interior/exterior clean, high mileage $2995 asking price.
Hell, who knows, maybe the toothless redneck wetback that tried to steal my truck did a good thing, it’ll force me into a truck that I want.
Fuck.

~/Moose\~

I think its around 5:30 in the morning….

and I haven’t slept a wink yet. The neighbors two doors down have their music turned up so loud that it woke my boy up around three. Right about the time i thougth I would crash. So now he’s sleeping in my bed because you can’t hear it in there for whatever reason… and i am stuck to sleeping on the couch… yeah, that doesn’t work so well.

I would go complain, but i kinda feel that it would be a bit hypocritical…. considering all of the nights that I was part to keeping the neighbors up… i guess this is ‘paying my dues’.

I am changing colors around on my site… if you hadn’t already noticed…. we’ll see how it turns out.

~/Moose\~

Don’t Mess With Texas.

Have I ever told you that I love Texas? In fact, I think it’s become my all time favorite state. Taking the place of Nebraska. Chad kept defending Texas. I wouldn’t believe him. I kept trying to tell him why Texas wasn’t that nice. How it was not cool. But, I am finally convinced. And let me tell you why.
1. I love the fact that there are three temperatures in Texas. Miserably hot, miserably humid, and miserably hot and humid.
2. I realize that the federal government made the ridicules law. However, I love the fact that Texas perfected it. A seat belt ticket is not $50 (like Utah), not $75, hell not even $100, no, it’s an ass tearing $125.
3. I love the fact that 20 miles following the east border of the state is kind of pretty. Nice trees, lots of them, everything is green. How about the other 880 miles of the state? You’re lucky to find plant life. Just dirt, and oil pumps.
4. I love the fact that when your running out of gas, you can’t stop at a gas station without getting flashbacks of the movie Texas Chainsaw Massacre, or that Chevy Chase movie, with the scary rednecks.
5. I love the originality of the people in Texas. Every fifth car does not have a “Don’t Mess With Texas” sticker in their window.
6. I love the Alamo. Ever been to the Alamo? For those of you who have, you know what I am talking about. I made better forts for my G.I. Joe’s when I was 8.
7. I love the “Big as Texas” slogans on everything. Its not the biggest state, not even close. Its second. And check the map, it fits over twice in Alaska. Don’t give me that crap about “Continental United States”. I can say, “It should have stayed part of the Continental Mexican Republic”.
8. And the last thing that I just love about Texas, the fact that the people here can look past all of these wonderful things I have just pointed out. And be belligerent, ignorant, and blind to the fact that Texas isn’t the greatest state ever. Ask any one of them, they’ll defend it to the death.
Am I ‘Messin’ with Texas”? Oh no.
Fuck Texas, fuck Texas in its hairy, deformed from in-breeding, “big as Texas” ass.
Now, Chad, before you write me a naaaasty email about this, understand that this is all in good fun, and that I am not attacking you. Just everything you believe, and love. ;-)

~/Moose\~

I diiiig my new photo album.

So, Updates are going to get less frequent out here in the ‘commoners’ area. For you loosers that aren’t members, yeah, you shouldn’t expect to hear from me more than ooohh once a week.

Actual Updates: The new photo album (accessible only through members section) is hella fucking cool. Makes my life so easy. And for those of you that are members, notice that when your zoomed in all the way to the pic, yeah, you get to add comments. Feel free to say whatever the fuck you want.

You should all realize by now, I really don’t fucking care.

Sopranos Update: Tony is having alot of panic attacks. Finds out about the cusion (Mr. Pink) wacking the new york boy. Jumps down his throat about it. The cousin swears it isnt him. Tony is forced to lie to cover for him to Jonny “sack”, needless to say Tony was none to pleased. Carmella tries to find a divorce lawyer, cuss she’s all pissed off that Tony wont talk to her after he boned her. None of them will work with her cuss of who Tony is. None want to take on the mob. Vito gets busted slobbin the security guys nob in the parking lot. Not something I really cared to see. Anyway, its Meadow’s b-friend that busts him, he freaks out cuss he’s scared shittless of the mob boys. Was kinda funny how he about cried into his panties over the whole thing.

If you don’t know some of these characters, click here.

My flight left SLC airport this morning at 5:40 am. Do you realize how early that means I had to be at the airport? 3 fucking 40 in the morning. As if I have ever gone to bed before 11 right? Who in their right mind schedules a fucking flight for 5:40 in the morning? What kind of twisted thinking is involved with this? However, I got sorta lucky this flight, I have a row to myself. Which means right now, my feet are kicked up, the laptop is on my lap, and I’ve got a soda and whatever the fuck this crackhead ‘snack pack’ has in it. Makes for a comfortable flight. If the asshole across the isle would close his fucking window, it would really help. The sunlight coming through has burned my retina’s so bad I think my eye color changed from greenish to ash-ish. Stewdar-ist.. or ‘plane server person’ is a little hottie. She’s just begging for the cock. I’d give her the right good seeing too. ; -)

And I should probably apologize to godoloju. If it wasn’t for him, this site would never get anywhere. And sometimes I am just a fucking retard. So.

Godoloju, sorry for annoying the living shit out of ya for a few days. I’ll buy ya a beer at defcon.

If you people want access to the members area, email me with a preferred username, password, and a email address that your willing to accept emails from the other members at. Until I get the wardriving section back up, its open enrollment. Once its up, the only way to gain membership will be donate to the wardriving, my wallet, or my porn collection of your sister/mother/wife/girlfriend. Oh, and if your a hot chick.. bj’s will work for gaining access to. Or if you have any other ‘good’ suggestions, email me.
Oh and I just finished my week off. If you wanted to hang out, and we didn’t get a chance. Hell, thats your fucking bad, tooo bad for you, na na na naaaa naaaaaaaa!! Looser. ;-)
~/Moose\~

W00t!! w00t!! Members section is up and running.

Ok, for those of you interested in being members. Until I get the wardriving section back up, email me, lemme know your interested and we’ll go from there.

As for the wardriving section. Its gonna be a while. Mat and I we’re looking around, talking about what I would really like the wardriving section to be. Yeah, its gonna be a bit. There is some really cool mapping software out there. REALLY cool mapping software. Example 1, example 2 (on the 2nd one, type in a city and state and then play with the map}.

So yeah, untill we get that where we want it, wardriving is down. Shouldn’t be more than a couple of months.

Members area: added the keegchat (version of the aimbot mat wrote) for members only. Say what you’d like, add links, post whatever, I don’t care. Also added pretty much all the pictures I currently have that I am willing to post on the internet.

And I am thinking about buying a new domain name. Something dedicated to wardriving. Mat and I talked about it for a bit. Any suggestions for a domain name? Hook me up if you think you’ve got a good one.
~/Moose\~