Thailand Day 4 – In Soviet Russia, freak out has you.

more food

Alternate Title: If you want to end the night early, bring out the shots.

ComaD got up early and went Scuba diving, so he was gone for a big chunk of the day. Looks like he got a few photos. You’d better ask somebody.

Bucho, Bubbles and I went to The Coffee House for breakfast. One of the more American breakfast’s we had, while Godoloju and TheGopher were still sleeping it off. It was before 10am because we attempted to go to the Junglecylon Mall but it wasn’t open yet. So we took a walk down a side street that runs parallel to Bangla and then back to the hotel to meet up with Godoloju and TheGopher.

Here we split, and I can only tell you what I know of the other group’s experiences from the stories they told. Bucho, Godoloju and TheGopher went to get “manny petties” and a “good massage”. Bubbles and I went shopping for some type of sun hat for me.

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getting them toes done

Manny Petties
Apparently the girls giving the manny petties thought it was hilarious that the guys wanted their toenails painted. Calling them ‘lady boy’ and asking them if they were ‘men’. It sounds like there was a lot of laughter all around. I believe they described the massages as good. Maybe we can get them to add to this.

My Hat
Shopping wasn’t going well, most of the hats we were finding that had any kind of size to them were obviously women’s hats. While I was looking at a particularly feminine little number with some vines and flowers around the top, I knew what I wanted. I wanted a rice farmer hat.

missing them fu-man-chu’s

We walked and looked until we got to the (previously unknown to us) second street of Bangla road and then there it was. 250 TB ($8) later, I was wearing it as I walked down the street. It got more attention from random strangers than I had initially expected, and it started me wondering if the Thai people would find this offensive. Looking back, I don’t think any of them did, I just think seeing a big fat white guy, with a giant red beard, wearing a rice farmer hat isn’t something one sees everyday. We grabbed another quick meal and then headed back to the hotel because it was hot as fuck.

The jet lag and the heat were kicking my ass, and I ended up passing out for 6 or 7 hours in the middle of the day. Bubbles got stuck in his hotel room for a few hours while it rained and then hooked up with the other guys. Comad got back somewhere in here also.

We all met up for some dinner, I don’t remember where. But all the shots happened, to the point where one of our more OCD friends drank a shot consisting of at least 3 different clear alcohols and a bit of someone else’s ice cream. Lots of good conversation and more drinking.

Not my Ping Pong Show
As one walks down Bangla, there are men and women standing around with various signs advertising cheep bear and other specific needs and desires. One of the things that is advertised pretty heavily on Bangla road is a ‘ping-pong show’ which I understood as one very specific type of show. We never did find that, however, this night there was an attempt.

I believe someone in the group asked one of the men standing around holding a ping-pong show sign where we could see one. He quickly gathered us all up and led us down a broken escalator that was connected right to Bangla road, to a series of glass doors leading to a basement club. It was dark and accentuated with dark blue neon lights.

As we stepped into the club we could see a single stage in the middle of the room, surrounded on all 4 sides by loveseats and U shaped couches. This was the first club we had been to that had a pretty even ratio of men and women that were there as patrons. Some of the couches were elevated and were probably 4 circles deep.

There was one late 30’s something woman that I seem to remember as Caucasian dancing on stage. She was wearing a two piece and was doing an overly erotic dance. We were led to one of the U shaped couches where we all sat down. They brought us a drink menu and someone picked it up. It was about here that another woman came out from behind a curtain I hadn’t noticed before and was working her way to the stage.

I heard some scoffing and laughing and someone in our group saying “No fucking way, Lets go!”. I looked over and half the group was standing up, I looked down at the menu that was tossed on the table and could see that a single drink was 900 TB ($30) and understood what was happening. We were walking back up the broken escalator onto Bangla road in less than 5 minutes from when we first went down it. The guy that led us down there was instantly at the top of the escalator trying to get us to follow him into another bar. We ignored him and told him to leave us alone and walked a few meters down the road.

Aggressive Russians
Based off some drunken conversations that had happened during this time, someone suggested that we go to one of the Russian clubs to see what they we’re like. The videos on youtube about Patong and Bangla all talk about the Russian clubs as being very pricey and not worth a visit. Of course, we had to see for ourselves. Almost directly across the street from the basement bar there was a long hallway with a red neon lit doorway that I knew went into a Russian bar so I led the group that way.

Up a quick flight of stairs and through another door and we were greeted by about 7 women standing right inside the door. The whole club was mostly deep red with some black highlights and brighter than normal lights. There were probably a total of 15 girls and a few bouncers, with only 2 other guys in the whole place. I say whole place, but it was a very small club, probably being 30 ft x 30 ft, with one stage in the corner and a higher and lower sitting area. All of the girls were some version of Caucasian and most were fairly attractive.

After a few minutes it was pretty obvious that I wasn’t going to have enough money to sit here for more than a few minutes, and after trying to borrow some money unsuccessfully I decided to just run out to Bangla road to an ATM and grab a bit more cash. 5 minutes later as I’m walking through the last door back into the club, I see the guys all standing and headed my direction. People seemed a little on edge and it was clear we needed to move on right now. The bouncers were directing everyone to the door and everyone in the club was standing and no longer having fun. As we got down the stairs we realized one of the group was missing and I went back upstairs to see if he was there. Turns out he left while I was at the ATM because he didn’t have enough money either, but instead went back to the hotel.

We ended up back at my hotel room before I started to understand what had happened. Apparently a ‘lady drink’ (a drink you buy to get a girl to sit and chat with you) was purchased and then there was a demand for more money. Something about another girl dancing for him and expecting a tip. One of our more cost conscious friends was a bit out of his element, and felt that he was being taken advantage of and had a bit of a meltdown. Apparently standing up and yelling something to the effect of “WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE, THEY TOOK ALL MY MONEY AND NOW THEY WANT MORE”. I discovered that this whole drunken scene was over 700 TB ($22).

The next day we were supposed to be up and ready by 8 am for our ride to the fishing charter. The alcohol, poor experiences and the need to be up by 8 am caused several people to call it a night at this point, over the next couple of hours everyone had gone to bed, I stayed up and took more notes.

< — Day 3 | Day 5 —>

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